Sunday, January 10, 2010

Butts & Guts, New Coach

The longer I live life the more I like it and the more I am amazed about what evolves, IF we keep our awareness buds flowing. Yesterday I competed in a five mile road race at the Buddy Holly Park in Lubbock. This race is called “Loop the Lake”, which is a series of small manmade lakes created from the flow of natural springs, and rain water. The main inhabitants of these lakes are the Canadian geese that fly south every year so they can have three square meals a day during the winter, and poop all over the sidewalks and wherever they please. What made this a special run of awareness was not the 15 degree weather or the competition from the other runners but simply the fact that I run so slow now I have time to really think and create new ideas for my blog. In years past when I was zooming around the lake and being competitive, I never came up with any solid thoughts simply because I was breathing too hard and experiencing the good pain of running like hell and not having to think. But yesterday I became so bored with my speed that I started becoming aware of those that were passing me and the idea came to my mind about the physiology make up of the male/ female species and bingo I had a subject for the week. To me it is ironic that the human body was created with two obvious flaws and it takes miracles to do anything about them. These obvious flaws concern the female butt and the male gut. Over the years the female butt portion of the body has gained prominent recognition and has been described in many ways, i.e. nice butt, fat butt, big butt, tight butt, cute butt, broad butt while the male butt is usually referred to as “ass.”(Could that be where the term “he is an ass hole” came from?) Actually my nick name in college was “apple ass or apples for short.” Sometimes female athletes have what is called a “nice ass” or “tight ass” (for some reason butt is not used for female athletes) and I recall two professional triathletes that had REAL nice asses/butts, or whatever term you want to use, and then some suffered from “no ass at all,” not a real common problem amongst the general population nowadays. So as I ran around around the lake and these butts were passing me I took inventory of the nice butts, the big butts, apple butts and the tight butts. It amazed me that all categories were present and they were all passing me. Well all I have to say is no shame towards me since I was gathering pertinent information for this writing. Now to give equal time to the male gut I must admit I didn’t have any big gut guys pass me because they were either ahead of me to start with or there weren’t any in the race with big guts, so they never had to make that move. But in reality I didn’t see many big gut guys there so I would have to rely on my bowling friends for the big guts to enhance this story. Most long distance runners do not have big guts, but bowlers seem to carry that distinction with pride. So we have the beer gut, big gut, fat gut, gross gut, flat gut or maybe six pack gut, but regardless of what you call it the gut of the male sometimes becomes very obnoxious. What I have found is that with aging the gut tends to move around a little and reposition itself. Since I have always had love handles they have been part of my love/hate for that part of my body for a long time. Now I find that these two dudes have moved a little bit to the front of my gut and I really do not like that. Fact is I have never been in love with my love handles and I have never figured out how to rid myself of them. Someone once told me that they are actually muscles so I should be proud of them. While I am not convinced that they are muscles I will continue to keep working them and see what happens. In conclusion to these two deep subjects I find that the female butt can be very attractive, and aside from the upper assets, called the boobs, it is one of the most noticeable features of the female anatomy. On the same token the male gut if properly maintained and groomed can also be attractive; however, if it becomes the large, round, over the belt fat gut then it is not attractive at all. Professional triathletes very seldom have large guts; however, I have notice that the professional football players who play in the line do have guts. So let’s give credit where credit is due and say that there is room in the world for all size butts and guts, and everyone has their preferences so we can all be happy. Enjoy the view the next time you are out somewhere where these two features of the human anatomy are in blossom.

Thank God Texas Tech has hired their new coach and the rest of us can go on with our lives. After the untimely firing of the city’s favorite pirate (disguised as a $2.7 million a year football coach Mike Leach) the administration hired Coach Tommy Tuberville from Auburn, AL. This probably didn’t get him the job but his initials are TT, duh, the same as Texas Tech. His mother was probably thinking of this 55 years ago when she named him I am sure. Regardless he has great credentials and should be very good for Lubbock and Texas Tech. The other favorite on the existing staff was Coach Ruffin McNeill and an un-official poll of the players indicated that 90% wanted him as their next head coach. The final decision tells you that the administration did not make their decision based on the player’s vote which also illustrates that the inmates can’t be in charge of the prison. While no firing is pleasant the firing of Leach turned into a blood bath, and will finally be settled in court at great expenses. Everything that I have read on the subject, and information I have received from insiders, indicate Leach deserved the firing. Of course he has been guilty of insubordination since he arrived 10 years ago so I wouldn’t call this firing that sudden. The problem should have been solved when he arrived as opposed to 10 years after he had been here. Of course the diehard Leach fans have organized a Team Leach group now numbering 60,000 on Twitter and other electronic magic, etc. They wanted him re-hired (wasn’t going to happen in a heartbeat). Funny thing is there were quotes of fans from around town in various bars & grills and the interviewer said that as the day wore on the responses were less violent and mellower. Duh, you interview people who are sitting at a bar drinking and you think that their responses will not mellow a little bit. That is why they are drinking, to drown the sordid details of the day and forget about who gets the next millions to coach a football team. Hear me Raider Nation/Team Leach, everything that has been made public indicates that the mighty pirate deserved to be stripped of his sword, had his good eye poked out, sent to the end of the plank, had all of his stolen treasures taken away, then fired. Besides he was only a mediocre coach and the highest paid 8 wins a year coach that I know of. He never won a Conference division title, he never won a Conference title, he never won a National Championship, and even in his best year he didn’t win either of the above, lost the last game of the regular season and also lost the Cotton Bowl game. So let it rest and get behind the new coach. Of course fans are so fickle all the new dude has to do is put a few wins on the board and they will be saying, “Leach who?”



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