Sunday, November 08, 2009

Birds and the Bees, On? or Off?, President O, Movie Reviews-not

The birds and bees expression has been around since the beginning of time, as far as I know. I am guessing that it really became a point of conversation after Adam, in all his naked glory, took that infamous bite of the forbidden fruit. While he was crunching on the juicy delicious shiny red apple he looked down South and discovered the tools of the trade that would soon get him in deep trouble. Along these same lines I suppose he came up with that quaint little expression, while conversing with Eve about reproduction and other sexual topics, “the birds and the bees.” While I have only been on this earth a relatively short time compared to the overall big picture of the creation, etc., I have always heard this express when it comes to discussing sex and other related subjects. For the life of me I do understand the bee’s role in this drama, but I am not sure what the birds have to do with it. I would think the expression “rabbits and bees” would better describe reproduction than “birds and bees.” The male rabbit is well known for his abundance of testosterone and the female rabbit is equally proud of her ability to conceive and produce many off spring. But before I go on the crusade to change this expression I want to convey my recent experience with a bee and how he showed me how it got the reputation of a re-producer. I was laying out in the backyard gathering up some unusual November sun and was drinking a coke out of a can. As I sat up and put the can between my legs, this bee approached me. I sat there very calm and watched it do its little bee thing of going around in rapid circles, moving its’ wings at a 100 rpm’s, and sighting on the best possible place he could land to start gathering this sweet sugar, then taking it home to the hive to reproduce and make a little honey. It was interesting to watch the bee make the circle, then make the approach and then the landing. As he started nuzzling the coke at the top of the can he decided to go inside the can. When he went down inside he must have gotten a real strong taste of sugar and caffeine, since he was a tad bit wobbly and had a little trouble initiating the flight off of the can. Again I just sat there with patience and no fear that he would sting me. He then started flying again, made a couple of passes and then made another landing. He looked at me like, hey dude this is good stuff and I want a little more. He then went back inside the can, guzzled some more coke, came back out and then flew off to the mother land. Now I understand the “birds and the bees” expression a little better, but I still believe the rabbit has a place in this story.

In this modern world of electronics I sometimes get very frustrated and wonder what happened to some of the really simple words that were used to help you operate these gadgets. To best illustrate my point I think that the most important thing you need to know is where the “off” and “on” buttons are on things that are powered by whatever means. But I have noticed that these two words are used less and less each time something is manufactured. When I go to turn the television on I want to just look for the on button and simply turn it on. But now we have three different hand held control gadgets that do not have on or off on either of them. They have words like, power(probably on, but a guess), select(that is if you get it turned on), recall(recall what if you can’t turn it on), play, stop(stop what, if I can’t get the damn thing on), mute, search, pause, and browse.(Again all of this is moot if you can’t turn it on). Then there is the computer, no off and on anywhere, but you do have enter, shift, backspace, num lock, control, tab, home, caps lock, end, page up, page down, etc., but no off and on. I have discovered a black button on the main face of the computer box that does allow me to shut this thing off if I get really frustrated. The other day it just froze, so I defrosted it by hitting this button that didn’t say “off.” Fact is, it doesn’t say anything. Then there are cell phones that have talk, end, back, text, next, space, but no “off and on.” We have a couple of those little electric heaters for the exercise room and they do not have “off and on” buttons. But they do have, mode, osc, timer so I just start hitting buttons until something happens that I like and be done with it. After searching all over the house for something with “off and on” on it I finally found it with my alarm clock. Believe it or not it was off, on, buzzer, alarm, dream bar, snooze and sleep. So, there is hope that maybe these two words will return to power objects and mankind will not have to be left guessing.

This morning someone sent me a very disturbing You Tube presentation of President Obama proclaiming that he is a Muslim and that the United States is not a Christian nation. He proclaimed the goodness of Islam and covered in detail all the great things the Muslims have done for the United States. He even did something that no American president has ever done (including the oil loving; he bowed to a Muslim hierarchy. Now I don’t know where all of these things come from but I do know I have never seen as much stuff written about a president as there has been about his one. I even got one e-mail that had he and Mrs. Big O going to a costume party with him in a Joker costume and she in a very revealing (at least D cups) costume with the belly button showing. When I am ask, what are we going to do about this president? My only response is—get your butt off of the couch at election time and vote him out of office. That is how we do things in this democracy and he became a master at raising money for the election (a record $745 million) and THEN getting the people to vote for him on Election Day. They jus t didn’t raise money for him; they also went out and voted for him. My thinking is that if all of the Seniors(over 65) in the country(approximately 51 million from what I can gather) went out and voted in the next election for the opposition candidate against President O, then there would be a chance for him to be defeated. Since 95% of the black voters in the country voted for him the senior population, with the same turn out, could get the job. Come on Seniors, let’s get out there and get it done.

Movie Reviews-not: No time for movies lately, but on the radar for future viewing, “Men Who Stare at Goats”, “Amelia”, “Michael Jackson’s This Is It” (not a fan of his, but our local guy gave it 5 stars, got to check it out), “Zombieland”, “The Fourth Kind”, There are some real weird movies on and from what I can gather the most weird and disturbing is “Paranormal Activity.” Big warning signs are up on this one as being very disturbing.



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