Thursday, November 10, 2005

Some humor, for a change of pace!

"In her new movie documentary, Madonna renounces the material world, saying we are enslaved by it and it will ultimately be our undoing. Madonna made this statement from her mansion in England."--Jay Leno

"The U.S. government announced it would not accept more than 300,000 meals donated to Hurricane Katrina victims by the British. A U.S. government spokesperson explained that the Katrina victims have suffered enough."--Conan O'Brien

"Supreme Court nominee Harriet Miers steadfastly refuses to talk about herself, will not talk about herself, and I'm thinking to myself, Hell, where do you find a woman like that?"--David Letterman

Suggested sentencing for Saddam after he is convicted, he gets Iraq back!

1 in 20-Proportion of men ages 35-44 who die within one year of obesity surgery, according to a new study by the American Medical Association.

150,000--Number of such surgeries that will be performed in the U.S. this year, up tenfold from 1998.

90%--Percentage of adults who admit to stealing candy from their kids' Halloween bags.

35 million lbs.--Amount of candy corn that will be produced this year.

Some interesting philosophy from Clint Eastwood movies:

On Foreign Policy--"Nothing wrong with shooting as long as the right people get shot."--Magnum Force

On Gun Control--"I have strong feelings about gun control. If thee's a gun around, I want to be controlling it."--Pink Cadillac

On Health--"I've drank more beer, pissed more blood, and banged more quiff than all you numb-nuts put together."--Heartbreak Ridge

On Gunfighting--"I'm faster than your'll ever live to be."--High Plains Drifter

On Anger Management--"Go ahead, make my day."--Sudden Impact

On the Art of War--"You improvise. You adapt. You overcome."--Heartbreak Ridge

On the Afterlife--"If you want a guarantee, buy a toaster."--The Rookie

To be continued-----

Mike Greer


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