Thursday, December 21, 2006

Buffman & Squeaky speak up! Movie review

Sometimes I have to remind Buffman & Squeaky that they are actually dogs, which sometimes is hard to do. Buffman has the look about him that is almost like, "well I will humor this old man one more time, but if he keeps it up I am going to bite his butt, big time!" While Squeaky is a little more forgiving and understanding she also has this, "well big boy look at me do this little twist thing around the room, and I'll run into the neighborhood anytime I want, so there!", attitude. While I would like to think I have the upper hand, I am not real sure, I did remind them that they have a triathlon named after them and if they get out of line I could change the name to Mike & Marti Triathlon in a New York minute(faster than a speeding bullet), if they don't bug off. At the end of all this discussion we embarked on some quality time, first a long hot shower for both of them, then to the grooming lady to have their nails trimmed. There is no grooming to a Boston Terrier, actually there is nothing to groom since their hair is short and they have no tail. Another characteristic of this species is their sense of urgency, they have two speeds, fast and faster. When I tell Buffman to jump in the tub for a shower, he jumps in the tub and stays there until done. While Squeaky is a little harder to get in the tub, she is very good about staying there and getting all clean. Then they are tigers when it comes to drying them off, it is growling and jumping to the utmost. When we left to go into to town to they both took their position on the passenger side and my hope was for some real quality time. While I sensed that Buffman had something on his mind, Squeaky just laid down and took a nap. Much to my surprise it all started to flow from the mouth of man's best friend and he expressed 10 of his pet peeves with humans(not necessarily Marti and I, but humans in general)and here is what came out: 1. Blaming your farts on me....not funny...not funny at all!!!(Squeaky woke up, looked around at me, sly grin on her face, and farted!!) 2. Yelling at me for barking. I'M A FRIGGIN' DOG, YOU IDIOT!(Squeaky woke up again, and barked!!) 3. Taking me for a walk/run, then not letting me check stuff out.(You know, sniff, sniff!) Exactly whose walk/run is this anyway? (Squeaky woke up again, and sniffed!) 4. Any trick that involves balancing food on my nose. Stop it! (Squeaky wakes up, again, and says, "I knew he was going to get you on that one!") 5. Any grooming that involves bows or ribbons. Now you know why we chew your stuff up when you're not home.(Squeaky is wide awake and really into this now, she responds, "this Mary Kay pink ribbon stuff is not a good thing for the Buffman, I will tolerate it because I am female, but enough is enough, we love chewing on it!") 6. The slight of hand, fake fetch throw. You fooled a dog! Whoooo Hoooooooo what a proud moment for the top of the food chain. Obviously you have issues!(Squeaky, hey dude this one really gets on my nerves, you know when you do the fake "favorite" toy toss into the bedroom, and I fake that I fell for it! You are a sucker for that fake!) 7. Taking me to the vet for "the big snip", then acting surprised when I freak out every time we go back! Dude, I went in there with two big beautiful balls and came out with nothing, notta, zero!(Squeaky I gotcha on this one, I had nothing to snip but Dr. George did do something strange to me one time that keeps me from producing little Boston's!!) 8. Get upset when I sniff the crotches of your guests. Sorry, but I haven't quite mastered that handshake thing yet. Well it may seem that I have some issues on this, I don't, I just love to sniff. (Squeaky, I learned all I know on this issue from the Buffman, he is the oldest and it is all his fault!) 9. Dog sweater. Hello??? Haven't you noticed the fur? While we think it is cool that we have Buffman & Squeaky matching triathlon t-shirts, and we were the best dressed at the Cloudcroft, NM pet parade, let it rest for a while. We are a fashion plate in the Boston community, leave it be. (Squeaky, couldn't say it any better myself, that Tiger t-shirt you stuck on my in Cloudcroft took the cake!) 10. How you act disgusted when I lick myself. Look, we both know the truth. You're just jealous, because I can!(Squeaky, dum de dum dum, my favorite part of the day!!). Now smart guy, answer this question: "If you mated a Bulldog and a Shitzu, would it be called a Bullshit?" After arriving home B & S went to their respective parts of the back yard, and we were all happy! Very quality time!! Note: Many thanks to my friend Bill Bell who sent me the 10 peeves, and for B & S providing some additional insight.

Movie review: "The Pursuit of Happyness" *****, Starring Will Smith & Son, great true story, well done, great acting by Mr. Smith and his son. Movie that brings out the emotion of despair, but has the ultimate feel good at the end. This is the truly a movie worth seeing.



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