Targetman, Some Kinky things, misc.

Now a days shopping in the modern stores is something to behold, whether it be the new breed of employees or the new breed of automation. The employees now all wear some kind of smock(blue at Wal Mart and red at Target, etc.), have a name tag with a title of some kind, i.e. head stocker for produce, head of cereal department, office supply audit manager, etc. While these observations seem to bug me on a daily basis, when shopping, the other things that really bug me are the electronic things that are suppose to be there to assist you and make your shopping easier, but sometimes just do the reverse. I went to Target to buy some plastic, Rubbermaid, storage containers. These containers will hold some of the stuff left over from Buffalo Springs, valuable enough to keep but they also venture over into the nearly "junk" category. While the ad in the paper looked fairly simple and straight forward, i.e. Rubbermaid storage containers, 60 qt. capacity, on sale for $7.99. But what I found when I got there was at least 15 other choices and they all resembled each other. But, also what I found was the capacity thing was not always in quart capacity but in gallon capacity. So, I had to sit there and compute the capacities to see if I was comparing apples to apples are apples to grapefruit, etc. On top of that the 60 qt. dude I went there for was hidding some place in the store and I couldn't find it. As a last resort I decided to seek out the red vested plastic storage container manager to see if they could possibly locate what I came for. Turns out the manager has a little electronic gun that she shoots a scanner line over the bar code and it tells her, BINGO!!, this is the container Greerman is looking for. Since I needed 20 and there was only 5 on the shelf I ask her if she had 15 more. Of course now the answer is, well that is not my job but I will consult with the back of the building warehouse manager, who also has one of those magic guns, a red smock, a name tag and title, and he will advise if we have anymore in stock and then will bring them to you. In the interim I found my enthusiasm growing for these plastic containers and started looking at all the different models available, turns out I found another container similar to the one on sale but it had a 66 quart capacity and it was only $6.99(not on sale, go figure). Now as the back of the building manager was charging at me with the 15 containers I had to work up the courage to tell him I had found a better deal. The good news for Target is that I found the better deal in their store, not at Wal Mart. He was very nice about and even said, "well it doesn't really matter since I needed to put these out on the shelves anyway." So, I gathered up my 20 containers, placed them in the basket and was real proud of my $1.00 per container savings. While I have never been a shopper, but rather a buyer, this little time to shop paid off. I also witnessed technology in motion since no one even had to think or count, they just shot that little red line onto the bar code and it did the rest. Now the real challenge comes in, I went to check out at one of the 21 different registers. Funny thing here is that only 4 of them were manned, so then I got in line to check out. Then I started calculating what it cost to put one of these electronic registers in and knowing that figure is from $12-15,000.00 each I figured they had over $300 grand sitting there with over two thirds of them not doing anything. Then my mind went even further off the radar thinking that everytime I go into a store like this there are registers sitting vacate and lonely, with no attendants or customers at them they are bound to be lonely. Then I started computing 100 modern stores like this in Lubbock alone with over two thirds of their registers sitting there doing nothing and this computed to over $25,500,000.00 dollars of wasted hardware and money. Why not put this all together and donate it to the Buffalo Springs 70.3 and we will offer prize money like the sport only dreams of. But then reality surfaces and the lady manning my check out station becomes available(the reason for the delay was because her scanner was not working and you know if this stuff doesn't work they can't check you out, since that would require thinking and actually reading, which they just don't have to do nowadays since they have a little gun that does this for them). Finally she puts the gun to my bar code(I know this sounds somewhat sexual but since it is a family blog it is not the case at all),it calculates my cost, sucks in my credit card, spits out a receipt and I am out of there. It has gotten to the point for me now that if I successfully buy something in the stores and walk out without losing my temper or chewing a vested employee out I have won for the day. While customer service will never be what is was in the "old" days I guess I really can't blame those that wait on me, since they are only doing what they are trained to do, and work with that equipment that they are given. So, get over it greerman and get your own vest and bar code gun if you don't like it! Welcome to the modern world of shopping and buying!! One last note on shopping. I have gone into some Dollar General stores lately and find that even though they say everything is $1.00 that is really not the case. There are many items over $1.00, so beware when that sign on the front of the building tempts you to shop with them!

For the past week I have been doing my due diligence on the Texas governor's race. The current governor did a triathlon last weekend in the hill country, another candidate is called a real softy, while the other two are really making the waves, one is a "grandma" and proud of it and the final one is just plain "Kinky." Turns out Kinky Friedman(self proclaimed as the only Jew in Texas who doesn't own any real estate)is really making a run for the office and even though all the experts say he has no chance(they said the same thing about Harry S. Truman versus Thomas Dewey for President, one election a long time ago)he has really made a name for himself. He has become my candidate, even though one of my Lubbock friends is helping with the "Grandma" campaign. So you non Texas readers out there will have a better appreciation for my man here are some of his famous quotes from Kinky Friedman's, "Cowboy Logic": "Never eat a sandwhich bigger than your head." or "You're born alone and you die alone, so you might as well get used to it." or "Always respect your superiors, if you have any." or "I'd probably be a Buddhist if it weren't for Richard Gere." or "I believe that Willie Nelson is the hillbilly Dalai Lama." or "The art of writing fiction is to sail as dangerously close to the truth as possible without sinking the ship." or(in conclusion for today) "My the God of your choice bless you!!"

Another former Govenor of Texas said the following: "I understand that the unrest in the Middle East creates unrest throughout the region." or "And so, during these holiday seasons, we thank our blessings..." or "And there's no doubt in my mind, not one doubt in my mind, that we will fail." Yep, you guessed it Bushisms at their best!!

Within my most creative abilities I am committed to presenting the most up to date and modern version of: "Did you ever wonder?" For example, did you ever wonder how long you actually sit at a red light? Did you ever wonder what the average time you stand in a line, for anything? Did you ever wonder why people speed up to go through a red light only to have to stop at the next red light, while you pull up beside them. Did you ever wonder what happened to the convenience store concept?

Off to swim, watch high school football,

greer