Sunday, January 28, 2007

Size does matter, Famous quotes, Movie review

Sometimes in life things are smaller than they seem and then other times they are actually larger than they seem. Now, before all you readers out there(nearly 40,000 hits in 2006, and thank you very much)let your imagination run away with this statement, let me clarify it just a little bit. First, anyone who really knows me will at once jump to conclusions as to what I am referring to and for your dirty minded people out there, chill out. The above mentioned subject is all about a storage building that is sitting in the middle of our back yard. Since our "hobby" triathlon business just seems to be getting larger and larger and not smaller and smaller, we never have enough room for our equipment, t-shirts, awards, lost and found, magazines, etc., etc. You would think with three 10 x 20 indoor storage units, 1 20 x 20 outdoor storage unit, a portion of our home garage, that would be enough. But, no it just seems to continue to grow. So, the next decision was to put a small storage unit in the back yard. For a few weeks I did my due diligence(really called looking for the best deal) which included checking with the City of Ransom Canyon to make sure I didn't violate any city codes. The funny thing about this little burg is that they have stop signs and speed limits, but these are called optional. Yep, you heard it, "optional". They haven't issued a traffic ticket out here since 1994, and they have three Barney Fife type officers driving around in vehicles labeled, "Ransom Canyon Police," and two bullets in their breast pockets. I tell you this simply because when it comes to putting something in your back yard the bells and whistles start blowing and all hell pops loose if you violate a city ordinance. I call the city offices and ask what the deal is for putting a storage building in my back yard. The friendly and courteous answer is, " the square footage must be below 200, and the building must be set 5 feet from the property line, otherwise you must obtain building permits and get God to grant permission to place this storage on your property. With that in mind I found my supplier, Tuff Shed, and started figuring on a shed below 200 feet. Bingo, they had a 12 x 16 for 192 square feet. I put this on order and set up a delivery for the 23rd of January. The fellow from Tuff Shed came out and we picked a spot that met all of the requirements and set the flags. What we didn't figure on was the amount of slope in that portion of the back yard and when the shed was delivered and installed it was just too high off of the ground on one end, after making it level. Another slight problem was the fact it was 1 foot too close to the neighbors property line(the authorities were here within minutes of the delivery, yep, the same guys with two bullets). So, we had to move it right down in the middle of the yard and low and behold it takes up all of our nice,southwest, rustic, scenic, what we like about our backyard "view." All you see when you look out the back windows, and deck is this what we thought was a small, 192 square foot building. The only thing to do now is take some dirt out of the high spot to the far West of where the building is sitting, and move it out of our view. For another $350.00 we are having the yard leveled and the storage building moved within a few days. The conclusion here is we thought 12 x 16 was small, but then when it blocked our view, it turned out much larger than imagined. As I sit back in my chair right now and look at the side of the storage building(which is my view now, but not for long) my advice is, never believe it when someone says, "size doesn't matter."

Over the last couple of weeks I have noticed some famous quotes, so here goes: From Presidential humor: "Thank God she doesn't have to be confirmed by the Senate." (Herbert Hoover referring to his newborn granddaughter), "If you can't convince them, confuse them." (Harry S. Truman), "It is a great pleasure--and a great honor--to be at the Yale Law School's Sesquicentennial Convocation. And I defy anyone to say that and chew gum at the same time." (Gerald R. Ford), "I've given my aides instructions that if trouble breaks out in any of the world's hot spots, they should wake me up immediately, even if I am in a cabinet meeting."(Ronald Reagan). "It was absolutely involuntary. They sank my boat." John Kennedy, when asked about his wartime heroics.) After knocking off the number 5 and 6 teams in the nation Coach Knight was ask what the rest of the season looked like for the Raiders. His reply, "hell I don't know, we may lose the rest of the 11 games remaining!" They did start this losing streak by going down bad to Missouri on Saturday. It didn't even look like the same team that won so big the week before. Key injuries did affect this game, but he didn't use that as an excuse. The General also said: "Victory has never been a particularly satisfying thing to me. It's really hard for me to say, "Well, we won."(for a guy who has won 884 games, seems like a small statement). His comments on sportswriters, " It was fun having you here. I'll tell you what it's like. It's like reading Shakespeare all your life, then suddenly being confronted with Donald Duck." " All of us learn to write in the second grade ...most of us go on to greater things." "I honestly don't think a lot of people in your business or mine care about athletics." "I'm impressed with people when they stand up to me. When they don't, I have very little respect for them. Particularly when they're right and I'm wrong. Sometimes I know I'm wrong and they're right, and I challenge them just because I'm interested in seeing what they'll do." Kinky Friedman(remember him?)"God said the chicken fried steak was good." The Texas commandments: "Thou shalt own as many guns as thou dog hast fleas." "Thou shalt hold no other state or country above Texas." Thou shalt consume no other carbonated beverage but Dr. Pepper." "Thou shalt not covet they neighbor's mud flaps or pick up truck." From George Carlin: " I'm curious, what precisely is Zsa Zsa Gabor's job title?" You know what's fun? Go to a German restaurant and insist on using chopsticks." In the expression, topsy-turvy, what exactly is meant by turvy?" Sometimes they say the winds are calm. Well, if they're calm, they're not really winds, are they?" From Greerman: "Last week I told my bowling team(I am the captain) that I didn't care whether we won or not just so we had the most pins." "Another motivational thing I keep telling them is that if they knock down all of the pins, each time they bowl, they will always have a higher score." "We have resolved that our team will not drink as much beer as the opposing team, the only problem is that doesn't always work, and then we have wasted some beer drinking time, never to be realized again." My choice in shots when I am bowling is the strike, from there it is all down hill." "Sometimes when I am bowling the pins seemed to look at me and smile or smirk, when they are left standing. But I always have the last laugh, I give them the bird and grab another sip of beer." "What a dismal life it must be, being a bowling pin, just standing there waiting to get your butt smacked by a 16 pound ball, coming down the lane at 50 mph." "It appears they have a speed limit on my lanes, my ball will only go 25 mph." "When I get a spare I am thankful for it, even though it is not the coveted strike, but it is better than the gutter ball." "My team looks up to me, I am 5'9.5" tall and the rest of the team is shorter." "Let me explain my position as captain of the team. I was not there the night they did the captain thing and they stuck me with it. It means I have to sign the score card at the end of the bowling night competition and that they pay for the nights bowling, it is an awesome responsibility." "I have always wondered if bowlers and golfers were athletes, seems as though anything you can do while drinking beer and smoking cigrarettes would not qualify." "When I die I want my blue bowling ball packed along with my other toys, but not the green ball, it sucks!!" "The good news about doing various sports is that when my bowling sucks I tell everyone I am a triathlete and I don't have time to practice, then when I suck as a triathlete I tell everyone I am a golfer and must practice, then on and on, I think you get the idea." "Also, I have found I can always wear any type of shirt, jacket, sweater, with the word Ironman on it and it stirs up interest and questions, i.e. did you do the Ironman, what is the Ironman, how did it feel to do the Ironman, you must be crazy, do Ironman finishers do it longer? These questions now lead to other questions and by that time it is time for another beer." "My infamous last quote to my team is this, I promise that if you knock down all of the pins you will shot a perfect 300 game." How can anyone argue with that?

Movie review: Since this movie has been reviewed before, what the hell am I thinking? Well here goes, this is the DVD version of "The Guardian" and it offered an alternative ending as to the one that was viewed in the big movie houses. Remember this was what I called a cause movie with a old/young hero story line. The cause being to educate us exactly on what the mission of the US Coast Guard is. It did that for me since I thought all they did was ride up and down the coast water skiing and watching good looking girls. Turns out they guard our coast lines and rescue people who do stupid things on the open seas. When a person or persons get in trouble and are in the midst of drowning the US Coast guard comes to their rescue. The old hero is played by Kevin Costner and the young hero is played by Ashton Kutcher(this guy is the young stud married to Demi Moore and that really makes him my hero). Typical story, old hero is nearly over the hill, young hero comes in to prove it, so a battle goes on between them to make sure we get the point. The only thing left out of this one is these two heroes will usually battle for the girl to. This doesn't happen in this one, they are content to see which one is the most macho and who can save the most lives. Of course Hollywood does throw in a little love stuff in that the 20 + years marriage of the old hero is on the rocks, not because he found another younger women(usually this is the case), but simply because his mistress is being dedicated to saving lives in his Coast Guard calling. No matter the time of day or night he is there for it. His lovely wife of 20+ years just gets tired of it and always having to play second fiddle, notwithstanding the fact old hero could die during one of these rescue missions. Melissa Sagemiller, an excellent actress and good to look at, usually seen in character actress rolls does a great job of crying, moping, nagging,and putting the old hero on guilt trips. She moves out, he goes to the bar, has a few straight whisky's, beats up some US Navy guys(they call him a sissy since he is in the Coast Guard and they are big Navy studs). But since it is a cause movie he beats the hell out of two of these fish grabbers(Navy slang made up by greerman)and moves the US Coast Guard veteran to the head of the hero class(at least for this movie anyway). All the while the young hero is trying to make his mark as a Coast Guard hero and unseat the old hero. I have left out some details, but you get the idea. The alternative ending is interesting, but predictable, and I prefer the original ending. "Code Name: Cleaner," *, with Cedric the Entertainer, very terrible movie, I can't tell you the ending since I went to sleep during it. The only reason it got one star is because it only cost $2.00, the popcorn/coke was cheap, total cost was $6.50 for the whole package. Don't waste your time in any form or fashion on this one.

All for today,



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