Sunday, January 24, 2010

Leecher, Butts & Guts II, Movie Reviews

Rumor has it that ex Texas Tech Red Raider football coach Mike Leach has changed the spelling of his last name to Leech. Well after looking up the definition of leech and finding that it is defined as a worm that feeds on blood; a parasite. I wonder how that computes with the definition of a pirate who robs and steals and happens to be idolized by Ex Coach Leech. Another rumor is that Coach Leech has moved to Key West, Florida the land of warm weather, lots of sun, a beautiful ocean and lots of real happy people (you know like fun loving, gay, happy, and stuff like that). We wish him well and regret the fact that he didn’t get to be in Lubbock during our last 40 mph dust storm, he deserved that. The courts also did not shine down on him this past week in that they denied his request to get preferential treatment to have his case moved to the head of the line. Seems as though he did stuff like that all the time in Lubbock whenever he approached a line he just told them to get the hell out of the way since he was the Head Football Coach at Texas Tech. Thank God the court system was not impressed with his former stature. Their claim is that by being tied up in court he is having trouble getting a job coaching football. Well Coach, sorry to hear about that since you had a very good job making $2.7 million per year until you exercised your practice of being insubordinate (this practice actually started in year one of your employment) to those people you were employed by and then you locked some poor entitled football player up in a carpeted, air conditioned shed on campus so he could recover from his apparent head concussion. Good luck in Southern Florida but you also missed the job opening at Southern Florida, who also dismissed their coach for choking and hitting one of his players. Now fans out there in college football land don’t think for a minute that this practice just started. The real facts are it is just now coming out of the closet; they were beating up on us in the 1950’s and ‘60’s. But rather than complain and go bawling to our parents we just played a little harder and took out our frustrations on the opposing team. Good luck leecher, you will probably need it.

As an epilogue to the Butts and Guts story I failed to mention that the positive functions of the butt and gut. Well the butt was really put there by the creator for a few reasons, with the most important purpose is to sit on it. The other thing is the butt is made to fill out jeans and other apparel. If you look good in this type of apparel then it is a blessing. If you don’t then good luck! On the other hand is the big gut really good for anything? Since what most people do that have them is not good for them anyway. Okay so you can kill a six pack of beer very quickly and have lots of room for it, is that really a good thing? I think not, but who am I to really know? The other thing the big gut is for is to eat more than your fellow man. But again, is this a good thing? No I really don’t think it is but again I am just writing not judging. I have a friend that has a real big beer gut and I noticed he rubs it all the time, especially when he starts talking about drinking some beer or eating some BBQ. So, I guess there is some soothing stuff that goes on by rubbing the gut and getting it ready for consumption. Sometimes I am tempted to reach over and start rubbing that big gut myself, but the temptation leaves very quickly when I wonder why I would even think that. Good luck to all of the population out there with big butts and big guts, God loves you!!

Movie Review: “Legion”, **, really a well done movie, but in the same breath really useless and you wonder why you spent good money to see it. When God loses faith in mankind, he sends a legion of angels to bring about the Apocalypse. Now the action begins and it is really just about a bunch of blood and guts and you forget who the good guy is and who the bad guy is. The way they slaughtered each other they forgot also. We even have a re-birth of the savior by an out in the sticks diner waitress. This movie is a weird one. So many unanswered questions for the movie goer, i.e. what happened to the rest of the world as this was going on? What was the purpose of the insect attack? Go at your own risk. Rated R for strong bloody violence, and language.

“The Book of Eli”, ***, this is a good movie worth seeing but did not earn a fourth star from me. Denzel Washington plays a roaming (prophet, evangelist, preacher) good/bad guy heading West to deliver “The Book” so as to save the scorched earth and degenerate population. His methods of delivery and his own defense for his safety are very impressive and very deadly. He is a good guy defending himself in troubled times just for the purpose of heading West and delivering the “Book.” Go see, you will be intrigued. Rated R for some brutal violence and language.



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