Thursday, October 02, 2008

Movie Review, Women---The Rib, Tough Triathlon

Very seldom do I start my messages with the movie review, they are usually saved for last as kind of the desert. However, after seeing the movie "The Women" it just opened up too many possible subjects and literary possibilities. This movie is all and only about women, with no men in the background, no men at the urinals, no men telling dirty jokes, no men playing golf, no men directing, no men in the cast, no men looking up the "women's" dresses, no men looking at the cleveage, no men standing at the water cooler at work talking about their last "lay", no men talking about all the money they make, no men talking about how they completely beat all the "women" in the last triathlon they just completed, no men PERIOD!! While you think I am stretching things a bit, I promise there were no men in this movie. Seems impossible but it is true and I think that you could call that part of the message. Women don't really need men according to this movie; however, the funny thing is that the theme and story really revolves around a man(one we never see or hear during the complete movie), and his infidelity in his marriage to perky, puffy lipped, frizzy long haired Meg Ryan. They have been married 13 years and now Mr. Man(yea, the one you never see) falls for the perfume lady in Sachs, and Ms. Perky finds out about it through the manicurist at Sachs. So, Ms. Perky goes to her friends(all women) and her mother, played by Candice Bergen) Annette Bening, Jada Pinkett Smith, Debra Messing while the villian home wrecker is played by Eva Mendes in her best swinging the butt tradition and cleavage galore! The rest of the supporting cast is Mette Midler, Cloris Leachman, Carrie Fisher, Lynn Whitfield and Debi Mazar. You notice they are all women, and remember there are no men in this movie!! So, the story is Ms. Perky has to figure out what she is going to do about this cad she is married to and had no clue there was anything wrong in their marriage. She also has to have the help of her friends and mother to get her through this in her best GET ALONG LITTLE DOGGY attitude. She goes to her father, who we don't ever see since there are no men in this movie, and he fires her from her plush family business job and informs her she really doesn't have as much talent in fashion and everyone thought. She then decides to do her on thing and in typical New York City based movies she has plenty of money to do a start up fashion business and has no trouble renting a plush loft business location, then hires a large design staff and then of all things has a fashion show that includes the head buyer from Sachs. So, she is a hit, finds herself, but does not find an outside love interest, nor is she really interested in the husband who was such a cad but now wants to come back. We know this because he sends a note basically asking for her to forgive and take him back, of course we don't see him do this since there are no men in this movie. Then the movie concluded with one of her friends having her fifth child and all of the women friends were with her in the delivery room and guess what gender the baby was, yep you guessed it "a BOY!!" So, we did see one male in this whole movie who was 5 minutes old and that's it folks!! Go see this *** rated movie if all of my narration didn't drive you away from it. It is rated PG-13 for sex-related material, language, some drug use and brief smoking.

After seeing this movie I started noticing that every time I turned around there was something about WOMEN in front of me, beside me, above me, etc. Possiby it is the Sara Palin factor that has been placed before us in all of the news media presentations. I noticed on a local eyeglass estabishment they advertised, "Sara Palin eyeglasses now in stock." Wow, and I had just bought some new glasses a few weeks ago and I missed out on this offer. Oh well, since I am a man I guess they wouldn't fit me anyway. Then I go to the airport and there is the current Newsweek with a white back ground for the cover with the statement, What Women Want(written in red lipstick). Also on the cover there were teaser statements luring you to buy this $4.95 magazine, which said, "The Puzzling Politics of Gender", and "Put Palin On the Supreme Court." Then I got the Sunday newspaper and on the cover was the Olympic Champion, 41 year old Dara Torres and a headline that inside there you would find a special Women's health report, plus on the third page was an ad for Desperate Housewives on ABC and billed as even "juicier" for the new television year. Jucier?? What the hell does that mean? Go figure!! Then of all things I went to the good book to see what the big guy above had to say about all of this. Well you don't have to go far(about 3 chapters in Genesis) and you get the idea on where all of this woman nonsense is coming from. The first mistake was the making of woman from the rib of man, how disgusting can that be? Why not just make her out of original ingrediants and not re-invent the wheel or stur up the original recipe. All he had to do was just make the genital adjustments from man to woman and create the accessaries that separate men from women and we would have been home free. But, no he has to go and put them in the garden and God forbid he ask the woman not to do something or something very bad would happen. So, what did she did, you got it, exactly what she was not supposed to do. We all know the rest of the story about the "now" naked bodies that before was no big deal, and then the temptation, then the making of the first brothers who ended up starting the first war in the Middle East(and they are still fighting, either us or themselves), etc., etc. Now, before we go any further here I want to make it clear that I love women and without them the world would really be screwed up. So, I welcome all of this new insight to "What Women Are All About" and I look forward in seeing how Ms. Palin holds up to the pressures of running for National Office and I wish her well. I'll even change glasses if she wins. Can't wait to see the next Time or Newseek!

This past weekend we competed in the Elephant Butte(torture) Triathlon in Elephant Butte, NM. This little Olympic distance triathlon was one of the toughest triathlons I have ever done for that distance. The swim was in a great swimming lake but the start was dead into the sun, which made for tough navigation. But, after a long 46 minutes I was out of the water and not(DAL) or dead ass last. The bike was 26 miles of rolling hills, steep climbs and a slight wind to our face going out, the returning last 10 miles was somewhat easier but after the first 16 your legs were dead meat. We were required to go over 6 cattle guards and on the first one I forgot to stand up while going over them and the vibration to my privates was very painful, but I did learn to stand at attention on the next 5. Funny thing is the vibration sensation seemed to make all of the "WOMEN" competitors smile(some even giggled) as they went over the vibrating affect. Wonder what that was all about?? The run started out even worse with 3/4 of a mile in deep sand with some up and down, then we went across two large dams, and through some hill climbs, etc. It was and out and back run, so the last 3/4 of a mile was in the deep sand. TOUGH!!! Yes, did I mention a triathlon from hell? After finishing I resolved never to do this race again, even though it was a very organized well run race. I would recommend anyone go do the race but beware, it is a tough one.

We are off to a motorcycle rally in Snyder, Texas this weekend. From triathlon to motorcycle rally is like being a cross dresser. Oh well, don't tell anyone I said that.



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