Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Quotables, Man-Laws, Movie Reviews

Here is some great stuff that was in Bloomberg Business week that really says it all about the “Web of Contempt!!” ** These are quotes from quotable people(not made up by Mike Greer who has his own ideas about the subject):

“With iPods and iPads and Xboxes and PlayStations-none of which I know how to work-information becomes a distraction, a diversion, a form of entertainment, rather than a tool of empowerment, rather than the means of emancipation.” Guess who? Your President of the USA, Barack Obama. Just learned today that the President has over 4 million people on Twitter, whatever that means.

”I’d rather have a rectal examination on live TV by a fellow with cold hands than have a Facebook page.”--George Clooney, actor.

”I hate the Internet. I find it dehumanizing to constantly check e-mails or social sites which have become so fashionable.”--Keira Knightley, Daily Telegraph,

“ We have too many cell phones. We’ve go too many internets. We have got to get rid of those machines. We have too many machines now.”--Ray Bradbury, Los Angeles Times,

”All these computers and digital gadgets are no good. They just fill your head with numbers, and that can’t be good for you.”--Prince, Daily Mirror,

”I walk along the streets of New York and I find people bumping into each other, bumping into things, and they have these things in their ears or in their face. They’re not seeing anything of the real world.”--Edward Albee,

”In my head, I’m still living and working as if there is no Internet, and treat it as a nuisance.”--Jack White, NME.com.

”Ironically, with all this we are now more connected than ever with technology, but I don’t think we have ever been been farther apart.”--Drew Barrymore, Nylon.

Important Man-Laws:

  • Any man who brings a camera to a bachelor party may be legally killed and eaten by his buddies

  • Unless he murdered someone in our family, you must bail a friend out of jail within 12 hours.

  • If you know a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off limits forever unless you actually marry her.

  • Moaning abut the brand of free beer in a buddy’s fridge is forbidden. However complain at will if the temperature is unsuitable.

  • On a road trip, the strongest bladder determines pit stops, not the weakest.

  • It is acceptable for you to drive her car, it is not acceptable for her to drive yours.

  • Thou shalt not buy a car in the colors of brown, pink, lime green, orange or sky blue.

  • There is no reason for guys to watch Ice Skating or Men’s Gymnastics. Ever!

  • “GUTS is arriving home late after a night out with the guys, being assaulted by your wife with a broom, and having the guts to say, “are you still cleaning or are you flying somewhere?”
  • “BALLS” is coming home late after a night out with the guys smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on the ass and having the balls to say, “Your next!”

The International Council of Manlaws, Ltd.(I didn’t make this up!!)

Movie Reviews: “Battle: Los Angeles” *, This is really a weak movie and I can’t imagine why any one would go to it or enjoy it once you get there. Aaron Eckhart(a guy that is a good actor but you never will remember his name) plays a retiring staff sergeant who gets called back in on the same day he retires. Obviously from the title the enemy attacks Los Angeles(funny no one ever attacks Lubbock, or Amarillo); however, this enemy is not the Middle Easterners, the Asians, or even European, they are from another galaxy and have decided that they need all the water that earth has and they are willing to fight for it. Funny thing is they are all robots and they must have had some kind of human beings turning the switches on or doing something to navigate them. But that wasn’t the case, and in the end the medium IQ sergeant figured out how to kill them by piercing them where their heart would be, if they had a heart. Sounds elementary I know, but none the less that is how they conquered the invading skinny tin head bad boys. Bad movie!! Rated Boring PG-13 for sustained and intense sequences of war violence and destruction, and for language.

“The Lincoln Lawyer” *** 1/2, This is a very good movie and fun to watch. Matthew McConaughey puts his shirt back on long enough to play a Los Angeles defense attorney Mick Haller, a case chaser who slips $100 bills into jars of peanuts before handing them out as Christmas gifts to sources. His office is the back seat of a used Black Lincoln Continental more often than not driven by one of his former clients. Forgot to mention, all of Haller’s clients are very sleazy and more than likely guilty until proven innocent. Haller does have an inward fear, and some conscience, that he may one day fail to recognize an innocent man. So, the case leads him to this client that will prove how good he is as a lawyer and how good he is at determining if his client is guilty or not. Happens to be a spoiled rich young man who abounds with arrogance and a way with beating up women. The film is well acted and certainly entertaining, but I wish there would have been a little background on his ex-wife who is also an attorney. The intrigue of their relationship goes a little in depth when they spend a steamy night together reuniting their love juices and McConaughey gets to take his shirt(and everything else) off for this sequence of wild lust making. The movie has a great ending and was great to watch. Rated R for some violence, sexual content(see what I said about the two exes creating more x’s and o’s) and language.

“Next Three Days” ***1/2, This is a very good movie staring Russell Crowe and Elizabeth Banks as his wife. The film starts out very innocently with Crowe as a school teacher with a wife and one child(a boy about 5). The actions begins very soon in that his wife gets into an altercation in the parking lot of where she worked and the results is a battered dead women. Banks was tried and found guilty of the murder and sent to jail. All the while she would never really say she did or didn’t do it, even though she was convicted of very strong circumstantial evidence. Crowe, convinced she was innocent, then decided that the only way to get her out of jail was to break her out. So, he put together a master plan to bust her out of the slammer(a very secure slammer I might add). He devoted all of his time and money to this goal. Now you will have to go and see the movie, or see it on cable to find out the answer. But, remember, it is worth watching and very suspenseful. Rated PG-13 for short scenes of violence.

“Limitless” ****, When I left the movie house I was saying three and a half stars, but after thinking about it overnight it gathered another half star. This is really a good, entertaining, well acted movie. Since it is fiction anything goes and that is what makes it so good. Brad Cooper stars in this paranoia-fueled thriller as aspiring author Eddie Morra, who is suffering from real bad writer block. Fact is he is in such bad shape his girl friend leaves him, his apartment looks like the city junk yard, and he looks like a homeless person when he goes out on the streets. When all seems to be lost he runs into an old friend who shows him some secret, not FDA approved drug, that when taken enables Morra to realize all sorts of super things. There is instant recall to anything he has ever read, he can learn another language in minutes, and comprehend complex equations and beguile anyone he meets, as long as he keeps taking the drug. He also takes Wall Street by storm and with his super quick mind and ability to analyze equations instantly he makes a lot of money real quick. So, quick he draws the attention of Mr. Money him self Carl Van Loon, played by Robert Di Niro. His part was almost a cameo but he did come on very strong in the last quarter of the movie. But, the other side of the story is the down side of the drug if you discontinue taking it. You basically become a zombie and can’t function. So, the rest of the story is how he handled this and then you will know the ending. Not good for me to give away suspenseful endings. Rated PG-13 for thematic material involving a drug, violence including disturbing images, sexuality and language.

For today......EA, SH.....:)


Monday, March 14, 2011

B-4, Move the Herd

Recently I took a tour of two modern dairies and aside from the actual milking(they must be milked three times per day) I was reminded of Southwest Airlines. Oooops, excuse me, how can this be and please explain yourself is what my faithful readers may be asking at this time. Well, here is the deal. In a dairy operation the cows go from point to point in the dairy to get fed, to poop/pee, to rest, and then to be milked. After a short while they become creatures of habit and just go from point to point without any real supervision. They get the drill and follow it very closely. But think about it, they get hungry so they naturally want to satisfy that hunger, then they get to a point where they must remove this waste so they do that, then they rest a while and then they are milked. All the time they go from area to area in the dairy to accomplish this, plus when they calf they must go to the birthing born to have their calf. So it all becomes a habit predicated on a need and the end results is the production of good wholesome milk. So, as I made my trip to Tulsa this week on Southwest I noticed the similarity of traveling on this particular airline because I have always said that Southwest was the airline that taught us how to react as dairy cattle do or like herds do. We are given certain instructions how to board their aircraft, which is very different from the other airlines, and since their beginning over 30 years ago they have changed the herding process onto their aircraft four different times, but never like the older airlines such as American or Delta. In the beginning boarding Southwest was almost a physical challenge that almost required you to be a young, strong well trained athletes. For the most part the airplane arrived at the gate and the passengers(let’s now call it a herd) for that flight would jump to their feet and start elbowing their way to the front, so obviously it was a first come first served seating arrangement. Usually who ever had the fastest feet and largest elbows got the best seat. There was no pre flight boarding, no assigned seats, not first class, just hell bent for leather elbow your way on. Then after the herd of loyal passengers had this down pat they changed to some colored plastic boarding cards that only allowed you to get on the plane based on your color, and you still had to fight for a spot, but it did give the herd the feeling of having some kind of seat when the gates were opened. One time I got on a flight in Houston headed for Dallas and after entering the run way they stopped the airplane and returned to the gate and made 3 people get off. Later, after getting in the air the captain came on and explained that, “sorry about that but we had too many people on the aircraft so we had to unload them, or did he say “herd” them? Now as the success of Southwest continued to grow they started another boarding procedure in which they had three signs up above the gate door entrance and your code for determination to load was a color, so when your color came up you stood in that herd and that is how you loaded. Seems as though it also had a color associated with when you loaded. Then about two years ago they came up with the present loading system in which you load by three groups, A, B, and C. They also installed tall poles that had your number on it so if you were assigned B-4 that means you would be in the B group in the B 1-30 loading group. Now to even add more efficiency to the herding system you can check in on line 24 hours in advance. I am now of the sophistication that I can do this all by myself and have found that being in the low numbers and as close to A-1 as possible I am more prone to get a better seat. Remember even though you have these numbers assigned does not mean you get say seat 4, or seat 10. As a loyal member of the herd you still have to move swiftly for your seat, take it and buckle up quickly so no one else will get it. One thing I really enjoy is that I see prominent and important people having to join the herd and fight for their seats just like us common folks, so that is really refreshing. Recently I got B-4(my goal is to some day get A-1) and found that I had many options of where to sit. I also like to giggle to myself about the new travelers who do not know the rules of the “herd” and they are looking down at their boarding passes trying to identify their number with the seats. Sorry folks it doesn’t work that way, it just gets you on the plane then you have to find your seat, or fight for your seat, whichever comes first or is required. My bottom line here is that I love Southwest and what they have done for efficient flying and excellent customer service, but I also appreciate their 20 minute turn arounds and fast exits off of the plane. This member of the “herd” understands why all of this is done and then when I have to travel on American or Delta I really appreciate what Southwest has done for the airline traveler of the day, whether it be weekly or once a year. “Git ‘em up, hitch em up, rawhide, this is Southwest Airlines and we are proud of it,” may be their next theme song. It did well for Clint!!

For today......EA, SH....:)!!


Sunday, March 06, 2011

Writer Block, Movie Reviews, Book Reviews

For some reason I have experienced some kind of writer block this morning and just can’t come up with anything real inspirational or motivational. So, in search of something meaningful to write about I consulted my library of over 900 books and found titles such as: Napalm & Silly Putty by Carlin, Build To Serve by Sanders, Mind Management by Greer, Living Successfully With Screwed Up People by Brown, Vampire Hunter by Brown, The Stuff of Thought by Pinker, Why We Suck by

Leary, Triathlon 101 by Mora, Power Meter by Allen, Divorce Busting by Davis, Anti Oxident Revolution by Cooper, Where Have All The Leaders Gone by Iacocca, and on and on. When it was all said and done all I gathered from this small gathering of my intellectual properties was a vast amount of either useless trivia, senior rambling or stuff too deep to comprehend this morning. Let’s take the Power Meter book for example. Now I bought that book at the recommendation of a cycling friend of mine who is quite good, but who is also a science type of guy. Well this book is about training on your bicycle with a power meter to get much faster and efficient. Since I have been riding for over 28 years I found the challenge of the Power Meter idea much too complicated and costly for my blood. Not only that I couldn’t understand most of the book. So, bottom line here is that I figure that if it really works then the riders who are smart enough to figure it out will also become faster and then beat all of us simple minded people, no matter how athletic they are. My current reading is being devoted to mind growth centering around books like, Rising To The Call by Guiness, and Courage and Consequences by Rove. To date I haven’t realized any real growth but I am having some fun and have plenty of room for this subject. But when I really want to get back to my roots of nasty, low down sarcastic humor I consult the likes of George Carlin. No one could(since he is dead now) be more direct and obscene than this guy. He said he didn’t like funerals, for many reasons, especially his own. He didn’t want a wake for his own service because he didn’t like the idea and lying on display, dead, in a mahogany convertible with the top down. Everybody looking and you’re dead as a door nail and someone says, doesn’t he look natural, when in fact the too much makeup thing makes you look like a drag queen. But then when life turns serious there is always the King James version of the Bible. Now you say, mentioning the works of George Carlin in the same breath as the Bible is somewhat against the grain of respect and dignity for both of these writings. Carlin was not much into religion of any kind, other than to make fun of it and use it for shock affect, while in turn the Bible needed scoundrels such as Carlin to make its’ point. So, a win win for both publications. In conclusion I think all of my readers can see my point of the day is that if you experience writer block just go to the family library and something will pop into the ole brain cells. Also, it also helps to gulp down a Red Bull and swallow some Ginkgo Smart!! In football we always said, “when in doubt, punt, when that doesn’t work, run like hell!!”

Movie Reviews: “The Adjustment Bureau”, ****, This is a good movie with a very different twist to a romantic story. Matt Damon(David Norris) stars as a very charismatic young man who is running for Congress. He has dedicated himself to this goal of winning a seat in the U.S. Senate. On the brink of winning this election he mysteriously meets beautiful ballet dancer Elise Sellas(Emily Blunt). Just as he realizes he has fallen for her, mysterious men conspire to keep the two apart. Who these men work for is the real story in this movie, so you have to go see it to learn who the employer is. Very well done. Rated PG-13 for brief strong language, some sexuality and a violent image.

“Hall Pass”, 0(as in Zero), This probably one of the worst movies I have ever seen. Not only is the subject matter bad, the way it is presented is even worse. Crude, obnoxious, nasty, obscene, horrible, stupid, just starts the description of it. Not only does it waste some good acting talent it wastes the viewers time even more. The so-call story line is about two best friends, played by Owen Wilson and Jason Sefeikis who are in long term marriages and they are now bored with their lives. So, their wives come up with the idea that maybe if they had one full week of not being married and they could chose to do whatever they wanted(no questions asked), would bring them back around. The idea is not bad and could have been an enjoyable romantic comedy if all of the real crude stuff had not been used to hijack the movie public into this farce. The Farrelly brothers direct while they try to copy the Cohen brothers, and they fail miserably. If you go see it after this review then it is your own fault you have wasted your money. Rated R for crude and sexual humor throughout, language, some graphic nudity(you mean when a guy takes a dump in the sand trap on a golf course) and drug use.

“Just Go With It”, *, Looks like I am on a roll with bad movies. This one also has some potential but just turned into real boring and stupid. Adam Sandler, Jennifer Aniston, Nicole Kidman and Dave Matthews, all good actors, are really wasted. The involves a plastic surgeon(Sandler) who carelessly pretends to be married. He actually uses this as his “line” to pick up good looking babes, since he is single. When he does fall for a much younger school teacher his line back fires on him. So, he enlists his assistant(Aniston) and her children to help ease him out of the jam he caused. Could have been a cute movie but was poorly presented and really boring in most parts. Rated PG-13 for frequent crude and sexual content, partial nudity, brief drug references and language.

“Unknown”, ****, Liam Neeson proves again that he can carry a film with action, remember “Doubt”? This film has lots of action and intrigue with a great script, and acting to meet the challenge for this type of movie. The plot finds an American scientist and professor, played by Neeson, accompanied by his wife(January Jones), to a conference in Berlin. However, a traffic accident leaves Neeson hospitalized in a coma for four days and, upon awakening with no identification, his memory is fractured. When reunited with Jones, she says she has no idea who his is, and another man(Aidan Quinn) appears to have stepped into his identity. Bits of the truth start to emerge, but the questions are: is he who we are led to believe he is and what is his real mission? Go see, you will find out this important answer and how the director presents it is very entertaining. Rated PG-13 for some intense sequences of violence and action.

Book Reviews: “The Memoirs of U.S. Grant, Part 1”, **, very well done but probably of no interest to most people other than for those who study the American presidents or like to read about past battles, i.e. Mexican War, and Civil War.

“Rising to The Call”, *****, A great little book written by Os Guiness concerning our call in life and whether we chose it or not, or how we chose it. But more than anything it illustrates through the concept of the Audience of One, and God’s Grand Employment. Well worth the time to read and ponder over.

For today EA, SH(where are you?).....:),