Sunday, October 20, 2013

Gnats Ass, Birds and Bees, Movie Reviews

While I am on insects I thought I might mention the tiny thing called a gnat.  All my life I have heard the expression, “no bigger than a gnats ass,” so I thought I might explore that a little bit and try to figure out why this tiny little pest gets so much recognition.  Tonight I noticed that they love to fly into whatever you are drinking and either float, swim or drown.  They also have a tendency to be groupies in that they very seldom fly by themselves.  I suspect that if the life span of a fly is 7-8 days then the gnat must last  about half that.  While the fly spends their life time dodging fly swatters and landing on manure and dead animals, I wonder what the real life calling is for the gnat.  My answer to that question is simply they just like to aggravate.  They fly into your drink, fly into your nostrils or ears, and just make themselves real pests.  They are hard to swat and usually they do not appear in the same location as a fly swatter.  So, you only hope is they fly into your drink and just die!  Or is you are drinking wine they fly into it, take a little swig or two, get drunk and then drown.  One thing I do know is that they have very small asses, so when something is no bigger than a gnats ass, you are guaranteed whatever you are comparing to is very small.

The other day at the pool I had just done my mighty swim work out and after sitting down next to the pool trying to enjoy the bikinis and sun I watched a bee fly right to my leg and land on it.  I was amazed on how it kind of made a winding circular approach, possibly like the kamikaze pilots use to make,  and then made a smooth landing on my leg.  What I didn’t realize was that he had his stinger on ready set go and it was in me before I knew it.  I immediately felt the sting and defended myself by swatting it off of me.  As the sting continued I noticed that this bee left his stinger in my leg so I removed it quickly.  The sting turned a circular red and I looked down at this vicious insect and noticed he was still alive.  As I tried to move it it all of sudden took off and flew away into the sun set.  While I know this sounds like a story made up simply because I had nothing else to say, I can swear on a stack of holy books that this really happened.  The good news is that this was after my swim, since before I swim I lay in the sun and nap a little.  The bad news is that it stung me but then flew away.  Now I was looking for the birds to do something spectacular so I could continue my story with a chapter on the “birds and the bees!”  

Movie Reviews:  

“Don Jon”, 0(as in zero), this is a totally useless movie and a waste of time.  The hero Jon Martello, played by Gordon Levitt is a young strong, handsome, good old fashioned guy.  Yes I know sounds good until you find out he goal in life is to seduce a new woman every week, in addition to relieving himself with the aide of porno.  A totally stupid movie with no saving graces.  Rated R for strong graphic sexual material and dialogue throughout, nudity, language and some drug use. 

“The Family”, ***, A dark comedy from director Luc Besson, about the Manzoni family, a notorious Mafia family that is relocated to Normandy, France under the witness relocation program.  Tommy Lee Jones plays the FBI agent who must relocate this family, headed by Robert De Niro and Michelle Pfeiffer, and their two teen age children, to insure their protection from the current Mafia chiefs who want them dead from ratting on them.  Rated R for violence, language and brief sexuality.  

“Rush”, *****, This is a true story about the rivalry, and strange friendship between legendary 1970’s Formula I race car drivers, James Hunt(played by Chris Hernsworth) and his disciplined Austrian opponent NIki Lauda(played by Daniel Bruhl).  Very well done with great race scenes.  Rated R for sexual content, nudity, language, some disturbing images and brief drug use.  

EA, SH.......:)!