Fleas and ticks watch out! Two heart beats away from our first female president of the USA!!

What I like about my bi-focal glasses is that I can see to read the really fine print, and really enjoy my reading. What I have learned though is that when you don't have them or you are in a situation where you can't use them, it is pure hell. For example when you take a shower you can't wear your glasses while in the shower, or if you do wear them you really can't see anything. From the fog to the water it just doesn't work, and who wants to wear a deep sea diving head gear while taking a shower. Today after another long bike ride(3 days in a row now, so I am considered a fanatical Type A+, compelled to shave my legs daily and drink Heed for breakfast and abstain from too much sex, now back to the point!!) and I decided to take a long hot shower and regain my senses. After getting in the shower and letting the hot water run over me I decided it was time to lather up and get all of the bike odor and salt off of me. The problem started when I couldn't tell what container had what in it, since I didn't have my bifocals to read the labels. Generally it is the same stuff and I recognize the colors, but for some reason the person who is responsibile for this area of the household had put some other new stuff in the shower. So that I wouldn't have to stop the shower, get out, and then find my glasses I just grabbed the closest thing with the most desirable color. In this case it was a real rich dark green, with a fairly nice scent, but not over done. As I was getting the lather up I looked closer at the label and it had two dogs on it, lo and behold I had used the shampoo that is used for the two dogs of the house. Never fear, I continued on, got it all rinsed off and the good news is that I haven't had one flea or tick since using this marvelous shampoo. What a deal, now I know why Buffman & Squeaky like this stuff so much.

The other day my favorite local columnist wrote a nice article about why a woman should be the next president and why a woman would be better than a man for this job. While she made some really good points that I couldn't argue with a strange thought came to mind. The United States of America is only two heartbeats away from our first woman president. Now before you start getting all riled up about Hillary, stop and think about the current leadership and the protocol of succession to the presidency. WOW, now your thinking, and let's explore even further!!! Let's say that VP Cheney goes on another hunting trip with one of his friends and during the hunt the friends mistaken him for a wild pig and shoot him dead(by accident of course like when he shot his friend while hunting). Now to carry the succession to the presidency a little further, the W man now has to become the full time president, since his boss has now been removed from office by a trigger happy friend and during one of his infamous speeches he chokes on a giant artichoke sprinkled with the famous Hill Country salsa chased by some Jack Daniel(even though he claims to have stopped drinking hard liquor everyone knows that the former oil patch folks can never give up their Jack) and goes to that giant mission accomplished heaven in the sky. Now we see how the succession works, the Speaker of the House is next in line and guess who that is? Yep, President Pelosi, front and center, raise that right arm, placed the left on the good book and baby your are it. The first women president of the United States of America and democrat to boot(no pun on this Wman).

greerman

65 miles, Renegades, AOL Directory

Yesterday we did a benefit ride for CAS( Children's Advocacy Society) to the tune of 65 miles. This was a great way to get in some good training, support a worthy cause, have support along the way and just have one good day. There were around a 100 riders and some did the shorter distances, while the 65 was the longest. The route was from Buffalo Springs Lake out through most of the canyons where the 70.3 bike ride is. So, it was familiar territory and a challenge ride. While it was not considered a race, yea sure it wasn't, I had my time at 3:58 hours and did finish ahead of some who started with me. The funny thing is before the start I noticed this white hair with a recumbent bike and I ask him how it rode and felt. He said, "well this is for an ole man so his shoulders and neck don't hurt." I ask him how old he was and he said 67, so I then mentioned I had him beat by a year. Funny, I turned out to be the oldest on the course but thankfully not last.

After taking a little time to rest up, we went to watch our favorite Arena2 football team play, the Lubbock Renegades. They played great and beat the Laredo Lobos 71-44. I love this indoor game and would have loved to have played it, many years ago. It is fast, high scoring and they get some good hits in. Can't wait until the next game. I did notice that the cheerleader corps had dwindled down to 5 from the previous 12, possible they all joined the Marines and went off to war or something noble like that. At any rate we enjoyed what was there.

Also just noticed on the AOL Directory a category that really burns me, it is titled, "black voices" and after giving it a try I noticed it was only about black people. Duh, thought our world was made up of all kinds of races. For example why didn't they have "white voices" or "chicano voices" or "oriental voices" or "young voices" or "old voices" or "native American voices" or, or, and on and on, or maybe "white male Caucasian voices" or even "white female Caucasian voices."

Guess I had better get off the soap box or I will be fired for speaking my mind. Whoops forgot, I own this gig so how can I be fired?

greerman

Buffman & Squeaky report, Bowling, Movie review

The third annual Buffman & Squeaky Olympic distance triathlon went off without a hitch, on the 20th. This race is billed as a tune up for the longer, more challenging 70.3(half ironman) Buffalo Springs 70.3 Ironman race. The weather was perfect and the 150 racers were given a great opportunity to race in excellent weather for a new pr. The water temperature was 64 degrees, so wetsuits were a must, and the ground temperature never reach over 75 for the day. The Buffman and Squeaky dogs were there to welcome everyone to their namesake event and they actually stayed for most of the race. Around noon time, just before the awards, they just had to return to their back yard for some peace and quiet. They both agreed it was a great day and they appreciated all that supported the race. At least the Buffman didn't try to heist his leg on the USAT official this year(he has had some anger management training) like he did last year.

This past week was the last week for bowling and my ole team, Spare Me, finished 5th out of 10(how is that for a middle of the packer finish) and we actually won $101.85(don't ask). There is a two person team league going now, but I will rest up for the summer, do my tri training and get back to the alley's this fall. Bowling, like golf, is hard to describe and the question is always whether it is a sport or not. I do know that people who carry over 200 averages sure deliver that ball down the lane different than I do and golfers who score in the below par scores hit it very different than I do, so they are some kind of athlete. Of course they say my triathloning is beyond thought or reproach, I comment back that if I can do it anyone can. So, we all wonder around this world in our own little thing and what difference does it really make.

Movie review: "Georgia Rule" ***+, this movie was given a bad review by our local guy, so I thought I should check it out for myself. While it will not win any awards, it was really a good(not excellent) movie. I always like Jane Fonda(she plays her age in this one, so no cleavage or tight pants) and have enjoyed her acting over the years. It is a mother, daughter, granddaughter type movie and has some interesting stuff. Of course Jane Fonda is the grandmother, Lindsay Lohan is the granddaughter(seems to play herself in this since she is basically a rebellious slut, oh and I forgot was sexually abused when she was 12, so has the reasons to be a rebellious slut), Lily is her mother who has a drinking problem(played by an actress from Desperate Housewives that I can't recall her name) which is the reason she can hate her mother(Jane). So, now you get the jest and can go see for yourself how they all decide to live happily ever after and who the real demons and villains are. You will also see where the movie title comes from. Rated R for sexual content and some language(I would guess so since Lindsay tells the local town girls that if they don't leave her alone she will f... the brains out of all their boy friends if they don't get out of her face).

greerman

Best time for grocery shopping, USAT Board Meeting, Movie review

Now I have this grocery shopping thing figured out. The best time to go shopping is around 2:00 p.m., but the time of day is not as important as the condition of your mind and stomach. I have always been told that you should eat real big before going shopping, then you would not over buy and/or impulse buy. Now I have found another condition that prevents the potential problems, go to the store with a full stomach and be pissed off at the same time. What this does is put you up and down the isles in a very fast mode and the impulse potential is just not there. The other day I went to the store on an empty stomach and then added the pissed off mode to it and did I get in and outta there!! Now this was not planned and I had no clue it would be so effective. So, I went in, got my stuff, and got the basket to the check out in record time. The only problem is that when I put my basket in the pathway to have it checked, the young lady made the mistake of asking me "if my day had been a good one?" I replied, "well as a matter of fact it had not, but if you want me to say it has been a great day I will!" While I know that is what she expected and my negative reply was a total surprise I just couldn't pass on the opportunity to express my true feelings. I also know that these young people are taught the lessons in trivial, meaningless small talk to make the customers happy, it was just not the day to hit me with this gibberish. Then when the young man was taking my food to the pickup he had the gall to talk about the weather and whether or not it was going to continue raining. Boy, what they teach them in "check out and carryout 101 is amazing!" After all of this I finally got my groceries loaded, and I was headed for the canyons. How dare these young, energetic, caring, great employees, idealistic, young people ruin my miserable day, by being friendly, courteous, brave, clean and reverent! I was being a grumpy old man, for whatever reason, and they did everything they could to bring me out of it. They must have done the job, since I recouped the day and moved on to better things. I have also noticed that if I smile just a tad bit, it makes all the difference in the world!! Duh, after all these years and I finally get it!!

This past weekend was National USA Triathlon Board meeting time, in Colorado Springs. The meeting turned out to be a very positive meeting and lots of good things were accomplished for the big picture of triathlon. We only had a couple of verbal fights(I really think they are called friendly debates), and everyone left shaking hands, hugging, and acting like the end of a family reunion. The sport is in good hands and is in a tremendous growth mood. My only concern is that in the future the cities are not going to welcome our sport because of the increased population, traffic and selfish attitude about sharing the space. Time will tell!!

Movie review: "Spider Man 3" **+, Ho hum!! First of all this movie is way too long, and has many boring parts. Tobey Maguire, Dirsten Dunst and James Franco are very good, but the whole theme of the movie is to illustrate how perfectly good Peter Parker is, and how Spider Man has become the ultimate hero around town. Of course Dunst and Franco do their part to epitomize this image. Then after we do all we can to stay awake, we are thrust into the dark side of Spider Man. Now he is man about town, hip hopping, new hair style(black hair now), cool clothes, some dance steps, and just really a jerk. Guess I will leave the conclusion to your imagination or you can to to the discount movie ticket time of day, or wait for the DVD. It is still leading the list for dollars spent for movies this past week, but I believe that is due to curiosity.

This weekend is Buffman & Squeaky triathlon weekend. The B & S t-shirts are ready for the little black dogs that this event is named after and they are ready to strut their stuff.

greerman

Let the finger do the talking(prostate exam time)

Why do doctors offices require you to have an appointment when everyone knows you will never get in at the time they set. This morning I was to have my annual prostate exam, but now I realize it can't be annual since I had my last one 5 years ago, at 10:00 a.m. I arrived a few minutes before, did the usual sign in, took the old stale 2 year old magazine out and enjoyed the wait. Since I didn't know anyone in the waiting room I didn't have anyone to ramble with while I waited. After about an hour I did see someone walk in that I knew, so I tackled his ankles and started a meaningless conversation just to pass the time. You know the one, oh how are you(not really meaning it or even caring). Well I am not just fine, I am great(even though I am waiting for the doctor to stick his 12" long, 5" diameter finger up my butt to see if that little walnut is still fine and healthy). While I probably stretched the size of his index finger a shade I am just relating as to how it feels when the exam is going on. So, the meaningless conversation ends with, good to see you, see you soon. I also know that is bull since I haven't seen this person in over 5 years and we haven't missed each other at all. Then after waiting for nearly an hour in the waiting room I then advanced to the exam room, that is after taking my temperature(I guess it was normal since she said nothing other than, "follow me." Now into the exam room sitting on the little table with a white paper sheet. This wait was the hardest since there is no way to pass the time except to stare into the white walls and look at the pharmaceutical ads. One caught my attention for "vaginal lubrication," can't remember the brand, but it really doesn't matter. I saw nothing for butt lubrication, or even for that wonderful drug that goes hand in hand with the lubrication thing, i.e. Viagra. Now anyone can see that I am real bored with this scene and need to get some resolution. Is my damn walnut good or bad? Then I am saved by the bell, while looking over at the table I see a catalog for Cabella's. Now that is a must for all exam rooms, yea while I am waiting to have the walnut punctured, pushed, prodded, squeezed, fondled, etc., I can read my Cabella catalog and order some camouflage hunting gear(I don't hunt really) and then no one can see me go squinched butted out of the exam room. Time does pass and the doctor finally enters the room. I knew I was in for a good one since the first thing he did was grab the rubber gloves, then tells me to drop my pants, and prepare for rear entry(what a graphic guy). After what seemed like hours it was done, woweeee!! The doc gave me a clean bill of health and we will have to wait for the PSA reading, since that required some of my blood and two days to get the results. It was over and I was able to walk straight out of the office. Can't wait till next year.

greerman

Frig size, Buffman, Ransom Canyon Tri, Bushism, Movie reviews

Over the years I have made a list, and it keeps growing, of things that just simply amaze me. For example, when I go down a busy city street why can't I hit all of the signal lights green? In addition to that why is it that when I am in a particular hurry to get some where I can never hit them all green. On the other hand when I am not in a hurry I hit 90% of them green. Now you got the point and setting for my next, "what amazes me in life thing," the common everyday refrigerator. The reason I went out and bought a new one is to get a larger size, not change the color of the old one and discard the old one because it no longer worked, so I could put the food from the old into it and have more space. The older one seemed like it was always over filled and things kept falling out when I opened it. So, I went out and bought one of those large, two door things and then I would have plenty of space and no worry on things falling out. NOT!! What I have now determined is that you just continue to add more stuff, taking up the added space and then in the long run you have an over crowed frig with stuff falling out when you open the door. On top of that I even saved the old frig, put it in the garage so we could store adult beverages, Gatorade, ice, etc. Now we have two over filled frigs and I will not go buy another one. It reminds me of the saying, "if you had all the feathers you could carry, could you carry one more?" My dad use to trick me with that one when I was a teenager. Of course I could carry one more since I had lots of muscles! He just grinned!

At times I will kid Buffman about changing the name of the Buffman & Squeaky Triathlon if he doesn't shape up, but I am just kidding. Well the other day I went over to him and just gently rubbed his stomach with my forehead(kind of affectionate like) and he growled and bit the hell out of my nose. Boy did this hurt the nose and my pride. I am just too vain to walk around with an injured, bleeding, slashed open nose. Not only that it could leave a permanent scar. After the bleeding was stopped and Buffman went to his room I decided I had better get a doctor to look at it. Sure enough a technus shot was required and anti-biotics. Don't worry the Buffman is fine and I am not going to make Buffman Tacos out of him. I have learned that it was my error and I should not have aroused him from his rest and it startled him. So, his only defense was to chew on my nose for snack time and spit the remains out on the floor. What a dog? Now with nearly a week gone by it looks like there will not be a scare, it is healing very nicely and the Buffman is learning new skills.

This past Sunday was the fourth annual Ransom Canyon Triathlon. Since Marti was the race director I was allowed to race it. It was a great day for racing and my body responded very well. I was able to come across the line before my old time rival, Joe Howell, from Amarillo. In 2006 he cleaned my butt in every race we were able to do together, so it was about time he had an off day. When I passed him on the bike I felt that he wasn't having the day he would have liked. While I was having a good day and loving the head wind, I was excited. Bottom line, I took nearly 3 minutes off of my time for last year and really felt good. While I know I was racing on my home course, the feeling of feeling good is always refreshing. Joe and I will probably meet again at the 23rd running of the Milkman Triathlon in Dexter, NM. Better get ready!!

A tidy Bushism actually uttered to the Queen of England yesterday. In his welcome speech he suggested that she had celebrated the United States' founding in 1776(making her 230 years old), while he meant to say she had attended 1976 bicentennial festivities. What are we going to do without him in office after his term expires?

Movie Reviews: "Fracture" *****, Boy this was a good one. Anthony Hopkins is comfortable in his element of playing the part of a cuckolded murderer who sets the cops and legal system up for a fall. Ryan Gosling is the young deputy district attorney thinking slam dunk: murderer caught, signed confession, gun in hand. But, now you have to go see it to get the rest of the story. Twists are plausible, and the acting is first rate. Expect language, and some violent content(well it is a murder mystery), some sexual innuendo(goody, goody).
"Lucky You" ****, Very good movie even though it started out very slow. Just be patient with it, since it finally gets there. Eric Bana plays a professional gambler, Robert Duvall plays his gambler father, and Drew Barrymore becomes his girl friend. Very interesting story and angle. Even though it is fairly easy to predict what the bottom line is towards the end, it does have an interesting ending. Excellent presentation of just how Vegas revolves around nothing but money, chance, despair and dishonesty. It is truly, sin city and proud of it! Some language and sexual humor.

greerman

Pinto beans, Bike ride, Hog ride, Renegade football

When I thought I had seen it all, guess what, I was introduced to something I had never experienced, a cook off contest. I volunteered to be a judge for the 3rd Annual World Championship Buffalo Wing Cook-off at Buffalo Springs Lake(yep, the same lake that has hosted the infamous, challenging, Ironman 70.3 triathon). This event was sanctioned by the International Barbeque Cookers Association of America, that involved pinto beans, chicken wings, beef brisket and beer. Seems as though everything I have been associated with over the past few years always involves beer as a side item, could it be that I gravitate to that beverage or does it gravitate to me. Back to the judging. I was assigned to the judging of the pinto beans and found this to be interesting. As part of my judging I was advised of how important this job was and how the National Sanctioning rules would be followed(reminded me of a Charlie Crawford talk on the rules of triathlon and non-drafting). The instruction sheet started pointed out the following: "Bean should look good, smell good, and taste good!(mg tidbit-I would think this three things would be the order of the day without question). Each cup of beans should be judged from 1-10 with 10 being the highest. The five criteria are: aroma, pleasing color, consistency, taste, aftertaste.(mg tidbit-if any of the five listed criteria is violated you will most certainly throw up) There should not be anything larger than the bean itself in the cup. Make your decision the first time because the beans cannot be retasted after the cup has been passed. Use a new spoon for each taste. Pace yourself because you have several samples of beans to judge(mg tidbit-there were 32 entries and two tables, so we tasted 16 entries, almost an endurance event in itself). Clean your palate between tasting, using carrots, cheese, crackers, water or beer. Place your score on the sheet and do not talk to a fellow judge. Oh, forgot, NO SMOKING PLEASE!!" What I found from this venture was many variations of pinto beans, some good, some bad. I only scored three 9's and no 10's, at least four 1's(didn't look good, didn't taste good, and their aroma was under suspect of what was put in this kettle to cook these dudes). Some of the cooks tried to re-invent the bean and missed the point completely. The idea was to cook and present the pinto bean with its' own aroma, taste, appearance, etc., not cover it up with a bunch of additives. I was reminded of my child hood when my mother would make a complete meal centered around pinto beans. We would take a piece of crumbled cornbread, cover it with pinto beans, sweet pickles, sweet onions and that would be the meal. Since my parents came from the great depression era they were masters at preparing good meals with very little cost, but still filled us up. Oh for the good ole days!

After I had done my duty as an official judge(I only judged the pinto beans, since they had judges for each category), I went on a 30 mile bicycle ride, then got on the Hog for a visit in town at a small rally. While they had some nice displays of antique autos, and motorcycles, it was really about the ride in to town and back. The weather was perfect for both rides!!

Later that night I met my friend Mark and his Hog at the Lubbock Renegades Arena2 football game and enjoyed the 65-27 victory. This was their first victory of the year and with a new quarterback they should win some more. Now off to the Caprock cafe for some food and a brew, then back to the canyons. Great day, with all hours filled with something to keep me out of trouble(very hard to do).

No movie review, but in my radar is "Fracture" and I will get that done within a few days. Tonight is bowling night, even though I filled in as a sub for a two man league held on Tuesday night and had some fun. We only have a few weeks left for this season, so got to knock some pins down tonight.

greerman